#35 The Piece Of Tape That Did Some Damage

Hey there,

 

This one is about therapy.

The profound memory of me opting for therapy was jogged by our recently uploaded episode with Dr. Chitra Munshi. The mortification of being perceived a certain way is why I kept it all under wraps for so long.

Come to think of it, the episode with Dr. Munshi urged me to look at my blind spot, i.e. my secret stash of unresolved issues, again. One notable example is the tendency to perseveringly demand the last word in a conversation, the oh-so toxic trait that affected my relationships to a point where I turned a blind eye to all the suggestions in my overflowing ‘constructive criticism’ box.

But it all is beautifully intertwined with the past and that came to light with the counseling sessions I had taken before. It was around kindergarten. Being a lot older than the other kids, with no fault of my own (my parents couldn’t get me in at the right time), I was quite domineering. One domino led to another and because I had this overbearing, unsolicited control, everyone would listen to me, eventually birthing a motormouthed diva.

Teachers would do their best but their efforts hysterically failed. One day, however, a substitute teacher walked in. We had our tiff and she issued a warning which I didn’t take very kindly. I continued being myself which didn’t sit well with her either, so she walked out, conjured a tape and stuck a crinkly cut piece on my mouth.

Now, there sure are a lot of layers to this but the memory only brings frustration and the imbecilic decision to never let anyone shut me up again.

What I thought was irreparable damage however, eased with the sessions and although it is still buried deep within my subconscious, it made me realise how crassly I had acted. There is a long road ahead to correct some of the wrongs, but the point is, it never would have been shown to me without therapy.

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